Here is a peek at what goes on inside our heads and what it's like to be a "missionary" in our home church.
For the past few weeks, we have hosted a "tea nook" at our church, welcoming people to come by and chat with us, over a cup of tea, during the morning coffee time and between gatherings. It's been lovely, so many people have come by to talk to us and been incredibly supportive and encouraging.
All the same, I'm an introvert who is terrified of just striking up conversations with strangers. So these past few weeks have been incredibly difficult for me! I was somewhat inspired today, though, by a passage from Jeremiah, who seemed to know how I feel. And please, reserve judgment until you see where I go with this!
"O Lord, you misled me,
and I allowed myself to be misled.
You are stronger than I am,
and you overpowered me.
Now I am mocked every day;
everyone laughs at me.
When I speak, the words burst out.
“Violence and destruction!” I shout.
So these messages from the Lord
have made me a household joke.
But if I say I’ll never mention the Lord
or speak in his name,
his word burns in my heart like a fire.
It’s like a fire in my bones!
I am worn out trying to hold it in!
I can’t do it!" - Jeremiah 20:7-9 (NLT)
Jeremiah starts off by complaining about his calling to be a prophet. "You tricked me!" he exclaims, "And now I'm stuck with the consequences!"
To be sure, Bonnie and I do not consider ourselves to be prophets like Jeremiah, nor are we calling down fire and brimstone on our church. We are incredibly thankful that the response we have received has been much more encouraging than what Jeremiah got. But still, we relate.
A few years ago, we could not have conceived of doing what we're doing now, constantly trying to share about what God has called us to with everyone who will listen. The cynical analysis is that we have to do it for the money, as we live entirely off the support we raise. That begs the question, though, why are we doing something that requires us to raise support? We're both educated, experienced professionals who can easily command good salaries in our fields.
Like Jeremiah, we can't
not do this. Not anymore. And, like Jeremiah, we're sometimes tempted to be just a little bit ticked off at God for that. We've seen the ugliness of a world in desperate need, and we've seen the beauty of God's people working in the mission He has called them to.
Like Jeremiah, we're sometimes going to say things people don't want to hear. Every time we ask people to support us, a person might well take that to mean we're suggesting they're not doing enough already (and, if you've seen what we've seen, the truth is that none of us is doing enough).
Like Jeremiah, every time we open our mouths, "the words burst out". Jeremiah preached the consequences of people turning from God. I think today's church is intimately familiar with violence and destruction, perhaps even desensitized to it. If Jeremiah were here today, I think his message might well focus instead on the flip side of the coin which our generation has lost sight of, on the beauty of God's people working as one to show His love.
So, like Jeremiah, though we rage and shake our fists some days at being pushed into these situations where we are uncomfortable, we will continue. And we will love it, even though it is difficult. We won't stop talking about beauty and we won't stop asking people to join with us in working for beauty. We can't. All we can hope for is to share that beauty with enough people that we aren't the only ones standing there looking silly holding a cup of tea in one hand and a fragment of the Bible in another.
Evan
